I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
