I wannas sexs uuuuu
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
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