Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
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