there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
