If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
