is wine microwaveable?
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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