dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Last time i carry you out of a forest
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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