Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
literally had 100 drinks last night.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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