Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
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