If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
