So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Randomize
