My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
So vagazzling was a success
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