I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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