we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
