I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize
