I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Randomize
