sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
