Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
