the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
