why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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