How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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