May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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