I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Randomize
