hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
