Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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