it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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