So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
