My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Randomize
