Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
