Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Randomize
