so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Randomize