high people should be assigned attendants
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Randomize
