I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
