Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
