apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Randomize
