This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Randomize
