Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
Quick, to the slutcave!
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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