It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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