I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
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