Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Randomize
