Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize
