I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Randomize
