this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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