We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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