Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
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