Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
