gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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