She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
