the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Randomize
