Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Randomize
