we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
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