Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Randomize
