i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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